If you can keep your tail up when all the others
Are cowering and trying to duck the blame
For chickens all gone missing but for feathers
And wag without the slightest hint of shame;
If you can patiently await your dinner,
Even on days when it’s unconscionably late;
When rations thin dismayingly grow thinner,
If you, without complaint, can clean your plate;
If you submit to no one but your Master,
But to all others offer nothing but respect,
(Except of course to that uncommon bastard
Whose naughtiness you must, of course, correct);
If you can chase that disappearing rabbit
And not slow even when he’s disappeared,
Stand still below a tree the squirrels inhabit
In hope that one forgets what ’twas he feared;
If through the crowded dog park you can stroll
Without a hint you’ll threaten or submit,
And sniff the crotch of either prince or prole
Indifferent whether silk or doubleknit:
If you can keep your head and ears well up,
Smell each delight and threat til day is done,
Then let no human ever call you Pup –
Yours be that noblest name – a Dog, my son.
