Playing games with my family when I was younger was always a good time, but it also shaped who I was to become. Gameplay is a huge reason I value fun, creativity, fairness, and boundaries in my adult life. Here are ten reasons games made me who I am today:
1) A sense of fair play. The point of playing a game is to have fun, but not at someone else’s expense. Part of playing fairly taught me what it felt like to be treated with respect, but more importantly, what it felt like to treat someone respectfully, which isn’t something I could learn from just being told. Fair play also taught me to follow rules and to be kind.
2) No cheating! Cheating cheapens the game and makes it no fun. Besides, the only thing I learned from cheating was how to win without skill or strategy. The main point of gameplay in my family was to have fun, even if we didn’t win every time.
3) Money management. We used to play Monopoly often, and although my brother almost always won, it was still fun to learn how real estate works and how to budget money. The extra challenge happened when the houses started getting lost under the couch, but at least the game went faster with fewer houses on the board. I hated stepping on those things with bare feet!
4) Strategy. My oldest brother taught me to play chess when I was about six years old, and I never stopped thinking about how that applies in my real life. Just like in chess, I sometimes need to consider my moves several steps ahead and consider multiple outcomes.
5) No whining or temper tantrums. No matter how bad things were going, whining or a temper tantrum wouldn’t make it better. Whenever I tried these tactics, the game would stop, and everyone walked away. Even if I was losing it was better to focus on having fun than on recovering my dignity.
6) No giving up. Quitting was rarely an option. Sometimes we had to take a break and come back to finish, but we almost always played the game to a resolution. (Except with Risk. That one takes hours, and none of us had the stamina to finish a game).
7) No concessions. Letting the other person win was almost as bad as cheating, and (especially when I was very young) it robbed the winner of the chance of earning the win. Winning is so much better when it’s earned.
8) Win gracefully. That means no gloating, no put-downs, and no showboating. Learning this through gameplay in the privacy of our home taught me to be humble in other interactions elsewhere, and how to create opportunities for everyone to walk away, especially in a conflict, with that winning feeling.
9) Lose gracefully. That means no crying, no quitting, and no complaining. This aspect of gameplay is what taught me to appreciate self-deprecating humor. I’m much happier losing a game if there’s an opportunity to make fun of myself and get a laugh out of it.
10) When it’s not fun, stop playing. This rule has become my life philosophy, and I see it play out every day in all kinds of ways. Don’t like that sandwich? Stop eating it. Don’t like what you’ve written? Erase and start over. Love your career? Retire when it’s not rewarding anymore.
I’m very close to each member of my family, and they’ve been there to support me through some rough times in my life. Each of them has influenced different aspects of my personality, and the things they’ve taught me in childhood are the main reason I am a happy, healthy human today. If it’s been a while since you’ve played a game with your family, make some time to do it soon, because games help families bond in ways other activities don’t, and those bonds and lessons last a lifetime. And no cheating!
