Word origin has always been fascinating to me. Maybe it’s because I love the history of things, where they come from and how they might have changed through the years. The written language is filled with words and phrases that can be traced back for centuries. Consider the word milestone. The origins of this word dates back to the 3rd century, when the Romans built a network of roads spanning 53,000 miles. They used stones to mark every 1000 paces. Travelers used these stones to gage their progress, much like the mile marks posted along our highway systems today. Literally, a milestone is a stone placed every mile. Figuratively, a milestone marks a special event, time, achievement or progress.
On August 1st, I’ll reach what some consider to be a milestone–I turn 60. It doesn’t bother me. I don’t feel like I’m 60 and I’ve been told I don’t act like a 60-year old, whatever that means. In my mind’s eye, I’m still in my ’20s and I still feel like I did back then. Actually, I feel better. Mentally, physically and emotionally, I am in a much better place. I am blessed with good health, a clear mind, a strong will, and a solid support system. Okay, I’m stubborn. I won’t lie. Every once in a while, my body will say, “Girl, you can’t do this.” My stubborn self says, “Oh yes you can!” And I usually do. When my body acts up, I try to listen. As far as I’m concerned, it’s mind over matter. I proceed with caution and maybe take it a little slower.
Most of life’s milestones result in personal reflection. Life events like deaths, births, anniversaries, and birthdays tend to trigger thoughts of accomplishment, success, or failure. For some people, personal reflection leads to melancholy. They become weepy, mopey, bitter, withdrawn, depressed or all of the above. I despise melancholy. It’s a total waste of time and mental energy. There’s nothing wrong with personal reflection, but wallowing in life’s disappointments and failures is not the answer. The past is the past. It can’t be changed.
As we age, it’s only natural for us to look back at our life. Self-reflection can be a positive experience if approached in a constructive way. It can be a time of self-discovery, igniting the imagination and opening the mind to new possibilities. It can bring hope to one’s future. I touched on this in my story “The Rio Grande River: Reshaping Experience and Perspective.” Our personal history is our best teacher, if we choose to learn from it. Like an artist critique, our past is there for us to pick apart, to analyze, to choose what is good and what still needs work. You can’t take it personally. It has to be objective. If you don’t like where you’ve been or where your headed, then change it.
Turning 40 and 50 never affected me in this manner. Probably because of my aversion to melancholy. Yet, my advancement to 60 has been a different story. I have my best friend, Rene, to thank for this. Recently, she joyfully reminded me that a lot has changed for me in the past ten years.
Ten years ago, I was miserable. I was working 10 to 12-hour days, 6 to 7 days a week, as a Mortgage Loan Originator and a VA Loan Specialist. My circle of friends consisted of other loan officers, title people, and a few realtors. I had carpel tunnel in both hands, my knees were giving me problems, I had hypertension, and I drank too much. In addition, I was menopausal and 135 pounds overweight. Sexy, right? When I wasn’t working, I was a complete couch potato.
On my 50th birthday, Rene and I met with our friends at Amanda’s Fonda on West Colorado. As always, our conversations focused on work. I remember sitting back and thinking, “Is this what the rest of my life is going to look like? Consumed with other people’s problems?” My job was toxic and filled with negativity and stress. I didn’t want to do this for the rest of my life. I sensed if I stayed in the business, I would end up a bitter, negative old hag or I would die from a heart attack. I shared this with Rene. She asked me, “You want to know what I think?”
“No”, I said, “but I’m sure you’re going to tell me anyway”.
“You’ve been disconnected from your art too long. You need a creative outlet. You’re an artist. It’s who you are. Quit mortgage and go back to school. You’ve always wanted to do that.” Rene was right, but the thought of making a monumental change was intimidating. Nonetheless, the seeds for change were planted although several years would pass before I was ready to take that step. Did I mention that I’m stubborn? Yep! I had to beat that dead horse a few thousand more times before I’d had enough.
In February of 2015, I left the mortgage business, and by the end of March, I was enrolled in summer classes at Pikes Peak Community College. I was 56 and terrified. But this was only the beginning of the changes to come.
In May of that same year, Rene was diagnosed with an aggressive form of breast cancer. She changed her diet to vegetarian while she underwent treatment. I wanted to support her through her journey, but I wasn’t about to shave my head, so I too became a vegetarian.
My change in diet resulted in a 35-pound weight loss in the first 6 months. By the end of that year, I no longer had high blood pressure. I had more energy, a better attitude, and I became more active. Today, I walk a minimum of 8 miles a day. I have lost a total of 100 pounds and I am no longer menopausal. Yeah! I have my Associate Degree and will receive my Bachelor of Fine Art Degree next spring. To top it off, I have begun the process to correct the carpel tunnel in both hands, and my circle of friends is healthy and more diverse. These are only a few of the changes that I have experienced since I decided to take charge and alter the direction of my life.
As we age, those who continue to dread their advancing years will complain, worrying and mourning over their lost youth. Bitterness, regret, sorrow, and fear will begin to manifest themselves in negative ways, effecting their health and destroying their peace of mind. They will become decrepit, hobbling around like they’re on their last leg. Marathons of Ancient Aliens will replace physical activities. They may succumb to diabetes, hypertension, weight gain, poor eating habits, heart problems, or a stroke. If they still have friends by this time, those friends will be of the same mind set. They will all sit around and wallow in their misery together.
My point is, getting older shouldn’t be feared. It can’t be avoided. It’s going to happen. It’s up to us as to how we face it. I used to fear change because the other side was unknown. Today, the idea of change excites me. I look forward to every day and I’m not afraid of what’s around the corner. In the grand scheme of things, life is short. We have to make the best of the time we have left. We need to make it count–for ourselves and the ones who care for us.
For those people who are approaching a milestone birthday, Happy Birthday! I hope you’re happy, healthy, and loving life. If you’re not, I encourage you to make a change, even if it’s a small one. Small changes can lead to bigger ones. Keep a good attitude and focus your energy on positive things. Surrounding yourself with healthy friendships and letting go of those that bring you down is key to successful change. When you experience setbacks, and you will, those friends will act as a strong support system to get you through it.
Like 10 years ago, for my 60th birthday, I will gather with some of my closest friends for dinner, drinks, and good conversation. I’m looking forward to this. A few friends are new and there are a few I haven’t seen in a while. Of course, Rene will be there. Remember Rene? She’s doing very well, thank you. Like myself, she’s a very mind-over-matter person. She didn’t allow cancer to define her. Rene beat the cancer and is back to eating meat. Me? I no longer drink like I used to, and I’m still a vegetarian.
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Susan Andrews lives in Colorado Springs. She is a graduate of Pikes Peak Community College and is currently working on a BFA with a concentration in painting at Adams State University, Alamosa.
