US Represented

2018: The World According to Google

Here’s what aliens probably look like:

Trump Defends His Mental Capacity, Calling Himself a ‘Genius’

It’s so hot in Australia that bats’ brains are frying

‘This place is a shithole’ projected onto Trump hotel, with emojis

Memphis Megachurch Pastor Andy Savage Admits to Sexually Assaulting Teen in Past, Says He Repented Immediately

He ate raw fish almost every day — until a 5-foot-long tapeworm slithered out of his body

Pet Translator: Scientist Developing Device To Convert Dog Barks Into English Language

U.K. Appoints a Minister for Loneliness

Were Cruise Ship Passengers Warned Not to Have Sex with Pizza?

If we start deliberately cooling the Earth, we may not be able to stop

Hawaii’s governor couldn’t correct the false missile alert sooner because he forgot his Twitter password

Researchers are worried that a brain illness known as ‘zombie deer’ disease may start infecting humans

May?

A Dozen Camels Disqualified From Saudi Beauty Pageant Over Botox Injections

Air Force One’s new refrigerators cost $24 million

Why Are We Afraid of Sharks? There’s a Scientific Explanation

Naked mole rat found to defy Gompertz’s mortality law

Even Amazon is surprised by how much people love Alexa

Outspoken Nazi Set to Win Republican Nomination in Illinois Congressional Race

Context Matters. The Stock Market Drop Is Less Scary Than It Seems.

We do not see the makings of a significant stock market top or major downturn and continue to believe stocks are well supported by fundamentals.

JPMorgan exec warns stock market could fall by 40%

Trudeau Lectures Woman For Using ‘Mankind’ Instead Of ‘People-Kind’

Flu season is all in our heads, Texas televangelist says: ‘Inoculate yourself with the word of God’

Anti-hooker lawmaker allegedly used taxpayer money for sex with escort

Is This a Short-Tailed Weasel?

Aetna Under Investigation After Former Exec Admits Denying Care Without Reading Patient’s Records

An American says she fell asleep with a headache — and woke up with a British accent

Iran believes the US spied on it with special lizards

They had British accents

People Have Believed a Lie About Rabbit Domestication for Decades

Breakthrough as scientists grow sheep embryos containing human cells

Florida House Declines Debate On Assault Rifles, Calls Porn A ‘Health Risk’

Totally Wireless Earbuds Bring the Loud to Stereo Headphone Sales

Clueless’ Actress Stacey Dash to Run for Congress

Ancient Elephants and Mastodons Were Totally Down With Inter-Species Boning

Surgeon performs brain surgery on wrong patient

Range Rover Unveils a $295,000 Supercharged Coupe

Microsoft confirms it’s already cancelling its newest version of Windows

You Will Not Be Pounded By Burning Debris From China’s Space Station

Amazon admits Alexa is creepily laughing at people and is working on a fix

People on Twitter like passing on lies better than they like retweeting the truth

Bend woman gets 21 years for drugging kids so she could go tanning, do CrossFit

Does Your AR-15 Need a Forward Assist?

U.S. healthcare spending twice as high other high-income nations

Ford recalls 1.4 million cars because their steering wheels might come off

Teacher accidentally fires gun in class while teaching about gun safety

Startup wants to upload your brain to the cloud, but has to kill you to do it

‘Love, Simon’ Star Keiynan Lonsdale Is 2018’s Breakout Bisexual Heartthrob

O.J. Simpson agrees with Donald Trump: Colin Kaepernick disrespected the flag

Man Says He’s Not Dead. Court Doesn’t Buy It

Tinder’s parent company is suing Bumble for patent infringement

D.C. COUNCILMAN TRAYON WHITE SR. SUGGESTED JEWS CONTROL THE WEATHER, SAYS SORRY

Self-Driving Uber Car Kills Pedestrian in Arizona, Where Robots Roam

Selena Gomez’s Friends Still Don’t Approve of Justin Bieber, Source Says (Exclusive)

Justin Bieber Reportedly Gets Cozy With Mystery Blonde At Concert As Selena Enjoys Australia

No, the pope did not persuade Stephen Hawking to believe in God on his deathbed

20,000 Republicans just voted for an actual Nazi

Justin Bieber Hangs Out With Baskin Champion At Craig David’s Concert

Jennifer Aniston & Brad Pitt: Look Back At Their Cutest Moments Amidst Rumored Secret Meetings

Former Disney Star Caroline Sunshine Joins Trump Administration

Trump promised $1.5 trillion in infrastructure spending. He’s 1 percent of the way there.

The newest teen challenge: Snorting condoms

Sinclair Responds to Promo Critics, Says Fake News Warnings ‘Serve No Political Agenda’

Battleship Potemkin Meat Inspector to Crew: These Are Not Maggots.

When Will Alexa Know Everything?

Fox News accidentally displays graphic showing it is least trusted cable network

Holy Shit, These Triassic Ocean Reptiles Were Big as Hell

Flint Kids Exposed To Lead Will Get State-Funded Developmental Tests

Michigan Will No Longer Provide Free Bottled Water to Flint

A district armed its teachers with baseball bats, urging them to fight back in a mass shooting

It’s fake news that the Pope cancelled the Bible

Banned Donkey Kong champ promises proof in emulator scandal

What will the philosophy of Kanye West sound like?

Kanye West’s thoughts on slavery: ‘That sounds like a choice’

Kendall Jenner Wears $925 Yeezy Cardigan While Watching Kanye West Talk About His ‘Breakdown’

Africa’s last absolute monarch renames Swaziland as ‘eSwatini’

The richest 1% are on track to control two-thirds of the world’s wealth by 2030

Uranus Smells Like Rotten Eggs

Google joins others in making the gun emoji a water pistol

Carson wants poor to pay more rent, work for assistance

It’s Official! Curing Patients Is Bad for Business

Is This a Vampire Squid Turning Itself Inside Out?

Janelle Monáe Addresses Her Sexuality, Comes Out as Pansexual

Suspect in serial killings was obsessed with lawn care, Comes out as Lawnsexual

Melania Trump’s Animatronic Wax Figure Has Been Unveiled and It Can Talk

Tony Nominations 2018: ‘Mean Girls,’ ‘SpongeBob’ Score Big

New ‘Ant-Man and the Wasp’ Trailer Released

Mystery pooper at N.J. high school’s track turned out to be superintendent, cops say

In a reversal, Speaker Ryan says the House chaplain will remain in his post

What started out as Kanye West’s return to Twitter has become far stranger and more unsettling

MAN KILLED AS HE TAKES SELFIE WITH INJURED BEAR

Earth’s carbon dioxide levels continue to soar, at highest point in 800,000 years

“THE OPPORTUNITY HAS NEVER BEEN RICHER”: SILICON VALLEY SEES DOLLAR SIGNS IN THE A.I. APOCALYPSE

Everyone’s Posting Adorable, Awkward and Adorably Awkward Old Photos of Themselves for #OldHeadshotDay

Kim Kardashian’s Press-On Met Gala Nails Were Flown in From L.A. on Katy Perry’s Private Jet

SNOWBALL EARTH CAUSED BY PLATE TECTONICS

Hoda Kotb Tells Carrie Underwood She Looks the Same After Freak Accident

U.S. Takes a Risk: Old Iraqi Enemies Are Now Allies

We have never been at war with Eurasia

The universe is out of balance and nobody knows why

Boston Dynamics’ SpotMini robot dog goes on sale in 2019

LG TVs Get Smarter With Google Assistant Voice Controls And ThinQ AI

Tim Cook Challenges Graduates to ‘Think Different’ in Duke University Commencement Address Urging Abandonment of Parts of Speech Paradigm

Aliens preparing for War? Alien battle tank spotted on the surface of the Moon, Watch Video

Are These Skiing Ostriches Real?

FDA approves the first non-opioid treatment for management of opioid withdrawal symptoms in adults

Doctor bought jet and Maserati from proceeds of unnecessary chemotherapy, authorities say

Trump misspelled his wife’s name in a tweet welcoming her home from the hospital

Humans just 0.01% of all life but have destroyed 83% of wild mammals – study

Giant predatory worms invaded France, but scientists just noticed them

U.S. Servicemen Guarding Nukes Took LSD on Missile Base

Is cockroach milk back as a superfood trend?

Amazon Alexa records and shares woman’s private conversation

Oldest known case of dandruff found in 125m-year-old dinosaur

This Week in School Shootings: Student and Teacher Seriously Wounded in Indiana

A new video game lets you simulate a school shooting. Parkland survivors are outraged.

Kim Kardashian to meet Trump, talk prison reform at White House: report

What do you think about a notch on the Pixel 3 XL?

Jury awards 4 cents to family of Florida man killed by deputy

New report finds no evidence that having sex with robots is healthy

Betsy DeVos Says School Safety Commission Won’t Look At Role Of Guns In School Shootings

GOP Candidate Normalizes Pedophilia Because The Bible

Putin talks World War III and World Cup during annual call-in show

Monsanto is about to disappear. Everything will stay exactly the same

Suicide rates are up 30 percent since 1999, CDC says

Hailey Baldwin’s CLINGINESS Distracting Justin Bieber!

Trump says he may pardon Muhammad Ali, who does not need a pardon

Amazon, JPMorgan, and Berkshire Hathaway have picked the CEO to run their joint health venture

Trump administration to seek merger of Education, Labor departments

Republicans now prefer Kim Jong Un to Nancy Pelosi

Did Something Massive Smash Into Uranus?

Justin Bieber Wants To START A FAMILY With Hailey Baldwin!

Farting Unicorn Sparks Legal Battle Between Local Artist And Elon Musk

Justin Bieber Kisses Hailey Baldwin on the Forehead in New PDA Photos

A Woman Lost Her Toenails After a Fish Pedicure

A crocodile killed an Indonesian man — so his village slaughtered nearly 300 crocodiles

Merck Is Lowering Drug Prices. There’s a Catch.

DOCTORS INTERRUPT PATIENTS, STOP LISTENING AFTER 11 SECONDS ON AVERAGE, STUDY SAYS

Facial Recognition Software Wrongly Identifies 28 Lawmakers As Crime Suspects

Wrongly?

U.S. THE MOST DANGEROUS DEVELOPED COUNTRY TO GIVE BIRTH IN: REPORT

‘No Brainer’ reunites Justin Bieber, DJ Khaled, Quavo and Chance the Rapper

YouTube Star PewDiePie Apologizes For Demi Lovato Joke Meme

Health officials: Condoms are not meant to be reused

The world’s first 5G smartphone just launched and we all missed it

Jack in the Box is under fire for a ‘tone deaf’, sexually charged commercial about teriyaki bowls

Justin Bieber carries ‘Meaning of Marriage’ book as he explains crying fit

Coca Cola is fighting Gatorade by investing in BodyArmor

Google Can Track Android User Locations Even When Phone Is Off

Giuliani: ‘Truth isn’t truth’

What Your Car Knows About You

Trump Suggests Cooperating With Prosecutors Should Be A Crime

Did MSNBC Use a ‘Trump Worried About Pecker Leaking’ Chyron?

Fad Or The Future? Robot-Made Burgers Wow The Crowds In San Francisco

One year after Harvey, construction in Houston floodplain prompts new concerns

Google just launched the two-factor authenticator dongle you’ve been waiting for

Justin Bieber caught with his fly down on date night

‘ER’ actress Vanessa Marquez shot to death by California police during wellness check

The internet is wrong. Botham Jean and Officer Amber Guyger didn’t pose together for a photo

OxyContin Maker Granted Patent for Opioid-Addiction Treatment

Justin Bieber & Hailey Baldwin May Be Married

Terrible rap beef somehow produces non-terrible diss track

UFC Moscow results: Aleksei Oleinik submits Mark Hunt in first round

Friday Box Office: ‘The Predator’ Hunts Down $10.5 Million, Surpassing ‘The Nun’

Teens Are Protesting In-Class Presentations

Amazon is reportedly baking Alexa into a microwave this year

Nightmare unfolds in restaurant after psycho butchers jogger

Angry mutant green crabs are destroying everything in their path

Kanye West’s iPhone passcode is 000000

Trump calls Stormy Daniels ‘horseface’; she fires back with ‘tiny’ and notes the president’s ‘shortcomings’

Man Dies from Extremely Rare Disease After Eating Squirrel Brains

The ‘sniveling coward’ and the ‘maniac’ are now allies, as Trump stumps for Cruz

California man uses blowtorch to kill spiders, sets house on fire

Justin Bieber’s apparent burrito-eating technique traumatizes the internet

MAN WHO ATE GARDEN SLUG EIGHT YEARS AGO DIES FROM RAT LUNGWORM

Bankrupt Sears wants to give executives $19 million in bonuses

Secret of wombats’ cube-shaped faeces is revealed

Justin Bieber Reflects on First Thanksgiving as a Married Man in Heartfelt Post

My New Vagina Won’t Make Me Happy

U.S. Life Expectancy Continues To Fall As Overdose And Suicide Rates Soar

There’s Drug-Resistant Bacteria in the Space Toilets, Guys

Alexa Big Mouth Billy Bass Is the Zenith of Technological Achievement

Puma rereleasing 1986’s RS-Computer Shoe is so majestic it hurts

Laura Loomer handcuffs herself to Twitter headquarters in protest

Festive Satanic statue added to Illinois statehouse

Border Patrol Supervisor Indicted After Allegedly Confessing To Killing 4 Women

National for-profit college chain abruptly closes, stunning thousands of students

Drew Brees gifts footballs in honor of passing record

OFFSET BEGS CARDI B TO COME BACK

Netizens Panic After Ariana Grande’s Ex-Fiancé Makes Dark Post on Instagram

Despite High Surf Warnings, Hundreds Still Strolled Ocean Beach

‘Kill your foster parents’: Amazon’s Alexa talks murder, sex in AI experiment

Nike’s self-lacing sneakers will return in 2019 at a much more affordable price

Justin Bieber designing hotel-like slippers for forthcoming clothing line

There Is No Such Thing as Conscious Thought

Was 2018 The Best Year For Video Games…Ever?

America Is Addicted to Outrage. Is There a Cure?

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