Here’s what aliens probably look like:
Trump Defends His Mental Capacity, Calling Himself a ‘Genius’
It’s so hot in Australia that bats’ brains are frying
‘This place is a shithole’ projected onto Trump hotel, with emojis
Memphis Megachurch Pastor Andy Savage Admits to Sexually Assaulting Teen in Past, Says He Repented Immediately
He ate raw fish almost every day — until a 5-foot-long tapeworm slithered out of his body
Pet Translator: Scientist Developing Device To Convert Dog Barks Into English Language
U.K. Appoints a Minister for Loneliness
Were Cruise Ship Passengers Warned Not to Have Sex with Pizza?
If we start deliberately cooling the Earth, we may not be able to stop
Hawaii’s governor couldn’t correct the false missile alert sooner because he forgot his Twitter password
Researchers are worried that a brain illness known as ‘zombie deer’ disease may start infecting humans
May?
A Dozen Camels Disqualified From Saudi Beauty Pageant Over Botox Injections
Air Force One’s new refrigerators cost $24 million
Why Are We Afraid of Sharks? There’s a Scientific Explanation
Naked mole rat found to defy Gompertz’s mortality law
Even Amazon is surprised by how much people love Alexa
Outspoken Nazi Set to Win Republican Nomination in Illinois Congressional Race
Context Matters. The Stock Market Drop Is Less Scary Than It Seems.
We do not see the makings of a significant stock market top or major downturn and continue to believe stocks are well supported by fundamentals.
JPMorgan exec warns stock market could fall by 40%
Trudeau Lectures Woman For Using ‘Mankind’ Instead Of ‘People-Kind’
Flu season is all in our heads, Texas televangelist says: ‘Inoculate yourself with the word of God’
Anti-hooker lawmaker allegedly used taxpayer money for sex with escort
Is This a Short-Tailed Weasel?
Aetna Under Investigation After Former Exec Admits Denying Care Without Reading Patient’s Records
An American says she fell asleep with a headache — and woke up with a British accent
Iran believes the US spied on it with special lizards
They had British accents
People Have Believed a Lie About Rabbit Domestication for Decades
Breakthrough as scientists grow sheep embryos containing human cells
Florida House Declines Debate On Assault Rifles, Calls Porn A ‘Health Risk’
Totally Wireless Earbuds Bring the Loud to Stereo Headphone Sales
Clueless’ Actress Stacey Dash to Run for Congress
Ancient Elephants and Mastodons Were Totally Down With Inter-Species Boning
Surgeon performs brain surgery on wrong patient
Range Rover Unveils a $295,000 Supercharged Coupe
Microsoft confirms it’s already cancelling its newest version of Windows
You Will Not Be Pounded By Burning Debris From China’s Space Station
Amazon admits Alexa is creepily laughing at people and is working on a fix
People on Twitter like passing on lies better than they like retweeting the truth
Bend woman gets 21 years for drugging kids so she could go tanning, do CrossFit
Does Your AR-15 Need a Forward Assist?
U.S. healthcare spending twice as high other high-income nations
Ford recalls 1.4 million cars because their steering wheels might come off
Teacher accidentally fires gun in class while teaching about gun safety
Startup wants to upload your brain to the cloud, but has to kill you to do it
‘Love, Simon’ Star Keiynan Lonsdale Is 2018’s Breakout Bisexual Heartthrob
O.J. Simpson agrees with Donald Trump: Colin Kaepernick disrespected the flag
Man Says He’s Not Dead. Court Doesn’t Buy It
Tinder’s parent company is suing Bumble for patent infringement
D.C. COUNCILMAN TRAYON WHITE SR. SUGGESTED JEWS CONTROL THE WEATHER, SAYS SORRY
Self-Driving Uber Car Kills Pedestrian in Arizona, Where Robots Roam
Selena Gomez’s Friends Still Don’t Approve of Justin Bieber, Source Says (Exclusive)
Justin Bieber Reportedly Gets Cozy With Mystery Blonde At Concert As Selena Enjoys Australia
No, the pope did not persuade Stephen Hawking to believe in God on his deathbed
20,000 Republicans just voted for an actual Nazi
Justin Bieber Hangs Out With Baskin Champion At Craig David’s Concert
Jennifer Aniston & Brad Pitt: Look Back At Their Cutest Moments Amidst Rumored Secret Meetings
Former Disney Star Caroline Sunshine Joins Trump Administration
Trump promised $1.5 trillion in infrastructure spending. He’s 1 percent of the way there.
The newest teen challenge: Snorting condoms
Sinclair Responds to Promo Critics, Says Fake News Warnings ‘Serve No Political Agenda’
Battleship Potemkin Meat Inspector to Crew: These Are Not Maggots.
When Will Alexa Know Everything?
Fox News accidentally displays graphic showing it is least trusted cable network
Holy Shit, These Triassic Ocean Reptiles Were Big as Hell
Flint Kids Exposed To Lead Will Get State-Funded Developmental Tests
Michigan Will No Longer Provide Free Bottled Water to Flint
A district armed its teachers with baseball bats, urging them to fight back in a mass shooting
It’s fake news that the Pope cancelled the Bible
Banned Donkey Kong champ promises proof in emulator scandal
What will the philosophy of Kanye West sound like?
Kanye West’s thoughts on slavery: ‘That sounds like a choice’
Kendall Jenner Wears $925 Yeezy Cardigan While Watching Kanye West Talk About His ‘Breakdown’
Africa’s last absolute monarch renames Swaziland as ‘eSwatini’
The richest 1% are on track to control two-thirds of the world’s wealth by 2030
Uranus Smells Like Rotten Eggs
Google joins others in making the gun emoji a water pistol
Carson wants poor to pay more rent, work for assistance
It’s Official! Curing Patients Is Bad for Business
Is This a Vampire Squid Turning Itself Inside Out?
Janelle Monáe Addresses Her Sexuality, Comes Out as Pansexual
Suspect in serial killings was obsessed with lawn care, Comes out as Lawnsexual
Melania Trump’s Animatronic Wax Figure Has Been Unveiled and It Can Talk
Tony Nominations 2018: ‘Mean Girls,’ ‘SpongeBob’ Score Big
New ‘Ant-Man and the Wasp’ Trailer Released
Mystery pooper at N.J. high school’s track turned out to be superintendent, cops say
In a reversal, Speaker Ryan says the House chaplain will remain in his post
What started out as Kanye West’s return to Twitter has become far stranger and more unsettling
MAN KILLED AS HE TAKES SELFIE WITH INJURED BEAR
Earth’s carbon dioxide levels continue to soar, at highest point in 800,000 years
“THE OPPORTUNITY HAS NEVER BEEN RICHER”: SILICON VALLEY SEES DOLLAR SIGNS IN THE A.I. APOCALYPSE
Everyone’s Posting Adorable, Awkward and Adorably Awkward Old Photos of Themselves for #OldHeadshotDay
Kim Kardashian’s Press-On Met Gala Nails Were Flown in From L.A. on Katy Perry’s Private Jet
SNOWBALL EARTH CAUSED BY PLATE TECTONICS
Hoda Kotb Tells Carrie Underwood She Looks the Same After Freak Accident
U.S. Takes a Risk: Old Iraqi Enemies Are Now Allies
We have never been at war with Eurasia
The universe is out of balance and nobody knows why
Boston Dynamics’ SpotMini robot dog goes on sale in 2019
LG TVs Get Smarter With Google Assistant Voice Controls And ThinQ AI
Tim Cook Challenges Graduates to ‘Think Different’ in Duke University Commencement Address Urging Abandonment of Parts of Speech Paradigm
Aliens preparing for War? Alien battle tank spotted on the surface of the Moon, Watch Video
Are These Skiing Ostriches Real?
FDA approves the first non-opioid treatment for management of opioid withdrawal symptoms in adults
Doctor bought jet and Maserati from proceeds of unnecessary chemotherapy, authorities say
Trump misspelled his wife’s name in a tweet welcoming her home from the hospital
Humans just 0.01% of all life but have destroyed 83% of wild mammals – study
Giant predatory worms invaded France, but scientists just noticed them
U.S. Servicemen Guarding Nukes Took LSD on Missile Base
Is cockroach milk back as a superfood trend?
Amazon Alexa records and shares woman’s private conversation
Oldest known case of dandruff found in 125m-year-old dinosaur
This Week in School Shootings: Student and Teacher Seriously Wounded in Indiana
A new video game lets you simulate a school shooting. Parkland survivors are outraged.
Kim Kardashian to meet Trump, talk prison reform at White House: report
What do you think about a notch on the Pixel 3 XL?
Jury awards 4 cents to family of Florida man killed by deputy
New report finds no evidence that having sex with robots is healthy
Betsy DeVos Says School Safety Commission Won’t Look At Role Of Guns In School Shootings
GOP Candidate Normalizes Pedophilia Because The Bible
Putin talks World War III and World Cup during annual call-in show
Monsanto is about to disappear. Everything will stay exactly the same
Suicide rates are up 30 percent since 1999, CDC says
Hailey Baldwin’s CLINGINESS Distracting Justin Bieber!
Trump says he may pardon Muhammad Ali, who does not need a pardon
Amazon, JPMorgan, and Berkshire Hathaway have picked the CEO to run their joint health venture
Trump administration to seek merger of Education, Labor departments
Republicans now prefer Kim Jong Un to Nancy Pelosi
Did Something Massive Smash Into Uranus?
Justin Bieber Wants To START A FAMILY With Hailey Baldwin!
Farting Unicorn Sparks Legal Battle Between Local Artist And Elon Musk
Justin Bieber Kisses Hailey Baldwin on the Forehead in New PDA Photos
A Woman Lost Her Toenails After a Fish Pedicure
A crocodile killed an Indonesian man — so his village slaughtered nearly 300 crocodiles
Merck Is Lowering Drug Prices. There’s a Catch.
DOCTORS INTERRUPT PATIENTS, STOP LISTENING AFTER 11 SECONDS ON AVERAGE, STUDY SAYS
Facial Recognition Software Wrongly Identifies 28 Lawmakers As Crime Suspects
Wrongly?
U.S. THE MOST DANGEROUS DEVELOPED COUNTRY TO GIVE BIRTH IN: REPORT
‘No Brainer’ reunites Justin Bieber, DJ Khaled, Quavo and Chance the Rapper
YouTube Star PewDiePie Apologizes For Demi Lovato Joke Meme
Health officials: Condoms are not meant to be reused
The world’s first 5G smartphone just launched and we all missed it
Jack in the Box is under fire for a ‘tone deaf’, sexually charged commercial about teriyaki bowls
Justin Bieber carries ‘Meaning of Marriage’ book as he explains crying fit
Coca Cola is fighting Gatorade by investing in BodyArmor
Google Can Track Android User Locations Even When Phone Is Off
Giuliani: ‘Truth isn’t truth’
What Your Car Knows About You
Trump Suggests Cooperating With Prosecutors Should Be A Crime
Did MSNBC Use a ‘Trump Worried About Pecker Leaking’ Chyron?
Fad Or The Future? Robot-Made Burgers Wow The Crowds In San Francisco
One year after Harvey, construction in Houston floodplain prompts new concerns
Google just launched the two-factor authenticator dongle you’ve been waiting for
Justin Bieber caught with his fly down on date night
‘ER’ actress Vanessa Marquez shot to death by California police during wellness check
The internet is wrong. Botham Jean and Officer Amber Guyger didn’t pose together for a photo
OxyContin Maker Granted Patent for Opioid-Addiction Treatment
Justin Bieber & Hailey Baldwin May Be Married
Terrible rap beef somehow produces non-terrible diss track
UFC Moscow results: Aleksei Oleinik submits Mark Hunt in first round
Friday Box Office: ‘The Predator’ Hunts Down $10.5 Million, Surpassing ‘The Nun’
Teens Are Protesting In-Class Presentations
Amazon is reportedly baking Alexa into a microwave this year
Nightmare unfolds in restaurant after psycho butchers jogger
Angry mutant green crabs are destroying everything in their path
Kanye West’s iPhone passcode is 000000
Trump calls Stormy Daniels ‘horseface’; she fires back with ‘tiny’ and notes the president’s ‘shortcomings’
Man Dies from Extremely Rare Disease After Eating Squirrel Brains
The ‘sniveling coward’ and the ‘maniac’ are now allies, as Trump stumps for Cruz
California man uses blowtorch to kill spiders, sets house on fire
Justin Bieber’s apparent burrito-eating technique traumatizes the internet
MAN WHO ATE GARDEN SLUG EIGHT YEARS AGO DIES FROM RAT LUNGWORM
Bankrupt Sears wants to give executives $19 million in bonuses
Secret of wombats’ cube-shaped faeces is revealed
Justin Bieber Reflects on First Thanksgiving as a Married Man in Heartfelt Post
My New Vagina Won’t Make Me Happy
U.S. Life Expectancy Continues To Fall As Overdose And Suicide Rates Soar
There’s Drug-Resistant Bacteria in the Space Toilets, Guys
Alexa Big Mouth Billy Bass Is the Zenith of Technological Achievement
Puma rereleasing 1986’s RS-Computer Shoe is so majestic it hurts
Laura Loomer handcuffs herself to Twitter headquarters in protest
Festive Satanic statue added to Illinois statehouse
Border Patrol Supervisor Indicted After Allegedly Confessing To Killing 4 Women
National for-profit college chain abruptly closes, stunning thousands of students
Drew Brees gifts footballs in honor of passing record
OFFSET BEGS CARDI B TO COME BACK
Netizens Panic After Ariana Grande’s Ex-Fiancé Makes Dark Post on Instagram
Despite High Surf Warnings, Hundreds Still Strolled Ocean Beach
‘Kill your foster parents’: Amazon’s Alexa talks murder, sex in AI experiment
Nike’s self-lacing sneakers will return in 2019 at a much more affordable price
Justin Bieber designing hotel-like slippers for forthcoming clothing line
There Is No Such Thing as Conscious Thought
Was 2018 The Best Year For Video Games…Ever?
America Is Addicted to Outrage. Is There a Cure?
